2 Sam 13 part 8

Tonight we will be looking at chapter 13 but before we go there we need to remember what happened in chapter 11 and 12. We learned about David and his lustful heart and how committed adultery with Bathsheba and how he killed her husband and other men to cover up his sin. However he was not able to hide his sin from God. The prophet Nathan lets David know what the consequences of his sins were going to be and they three fold. He tells him in 2 Sam 12 that the sword will never depart from his house and that he will raise up adversity from within his own house. Finally he tells him that his son with Bathsheba will die and he does. Now as we continue in chapter 13 we will start to see the rest of the prophecies come true because of David’s sins.

2 Samuel 13:1 After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar (tay-mur); and Amnon the son of David loved her.

Everyone is back in Jerusalem at this time and now we see some of David sons and daughter mentioned here. Since David had so many wives and children it can become confusing of who is being spoken of so I have chart here which shows all of David’s wives and the children that they had. Now specifically I want to show you that Absalom and Tamar are full blood brother and sister and their mother was Maacah. (may-ah-kah) Now Ammon was Tamar half brother and his mother was Ahinoam who was from Jezreel. Now we find out that Ammon loved his half sister but this was not the kind of love that a brother has for his sister it was more of a desire for her from a lustful heart. Now it shouldn’t shock us to much that he was having these kind of emotions especially since we just read about David having these same desires for Bathsheba. Obviously this shows us the influence a parent can have on a child and should teach us loud and clear that our actions speak much louder than our words.

One writer said this, None of David's children followed him in his devotion to God; but they followed him in his shameful sins and even went far beyond them.

2 Samuel 13:2 Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her.

Peter tells us this about lust,

1 Peter 2:11 Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul,

Notice lusting after something cause you to wage war against your soul and this exactly what was happening to Ammon. He knew that it was improper for him to be thinking about his half sister in such way but it lustful heart was getting the better of him to the point that it was making him sick to where he could not eat. Friends if we get to the point where our lust makes us sick I can promise you it won’t be long before you act upon on your lust. Now notice what happens next.

2 Samuel 13:3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David's brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man. ⁴ And he said to him, "Why are you, the king's son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?" Amnon said to him, "I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister." ⁵ So Jonadab said to him, "Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, 'Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.' "

Jonadab was actually Ammon’s cousin and he certainly wasn’t much of a friend. Here Amnon was already in very weak mindset and along comes Jonadab who encourages him to act upon his lustful heart. You see this is what happens when you have the wrong kind of friends. This is why it important for Christians today to choose your friends wisely. Those who do not care about God or living their life for him will take no thought in encouraging a Christian to indulge themselves in worldly sin. As Paul states,

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: "Evil company corrupts good habits

Jonadab certainly fits in the category of being evil company. Verse 3 points out that he was a crafty man and we see what kind of scheme he came up with to give Amnon his opportunity to be with his half sister. Now Amnon had a choice at this time because he didn’t have to follow Jonadab’s advice but as we are about to read his lustful heart won the war against his soul.

2 Samuel 13:6 Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, "Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand." ⁷ And David sent home to Tamar, saying, "Now go to your brother Amnon's house, and prepare food for him." ⁸ So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. ⁹ And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, "Have everyone go out from me." And they all went out from him.

Here we see that Amnon put the plan into place as he pretends to be sick. Tamar being a good sister obeys David’s command to feed Ammon. However as we read he wasn’t interested in the food and his real motive is revealed as we continue on in verse,

2 Samuel 13:10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, "Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand." And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. ¹¹ Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, "Come, lie with me, my sister." ¹² And she answered him, "No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing! ¹³ "And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you." ¹⁴ However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.

Here we see that Amnon has done what was in his heart. Now his sin is a reality. Now he had the choice to keep himself from sinning and Tamar tried her best to talk him out it. First she pointed how disgraceful that it would be and how he would be considered as a fool and how this would shame her. She even tried to get him to wait and ask David for her. But none of these things worked. James describes the process of sin very well in,

James 1:14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. ¹⁵ Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

Now we have to be careful as Christians to recognize when we see these steps forming in our lives. Because we can prevent ourselves from sinning by stopping at any of these steps leading up to sin. Now that Ammon has sinned notice what happens to his attitude.

2 Samuel 13:15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, "Arise, be gone!" ¹⁶ So she said to him, "No, indeed! This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me." But he would not listen to her. ¹⁷ Then he called his servant who attended him, and said, "Here! Put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her." ¹⁸ Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king's virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her. ¹⁹ Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly.

This show without a doubt that Amnon did not have any type of genuine love for his half sister instead it was just pure selfish lust on his part. This pretty typically of what happens to people when the have a great desire for something they know in the heart is wrong. Now in the moment they satisfy their desire but after that many times they hate what they have done and they no longer want have anything to do with it. Then they will be kicking themselves asking why did I do that? It wasn’t really worth it and I believe this is what is happening here with Amnon and that is why he wants to get Tamar out of his sight. Tamar was so shamed by his actions that she tore her coat of many colors and threw ashes on her head. Nothing ever good comes from fulfilling a lustful heart.

2 Samuel 13:20 And Absalom her brother said to her, "Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart." So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house. ²¹ But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. ²² And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

Here learn that Absalom must have known to some degree how Amnon felt about his sister because as soon as he sees his sister crying he immediately ask if Amnon had been with her. The he tries his best to comfort his sister. We also learn from this text that each of David’s kids from the different wives had their own homes as we see that Tamar remained in Absalom’s house as desolate women. Now when the news of this reached David we learn that it made him angry but he did nothing about this situation even though the law demands that he be put to death. Perhaps David couldn’t do it because he loved his son to much or perhaps he didn’t feel like he could say anything since he was guilty of a similar sin with Bathsheba whatever the case was nothing was done. However Absalom hated his brother from this point forward and his hatred would increase as time went on as we continue in verse,

2 Samuel 13:23 And it came to pass, after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; so Absalom invited all the king's sons. ²⁴ Then Absalom came to the king and said, "Kindly note, your servant has sheepshearers; please, let the king and his servants go with your servant." ²⁵ But the king said to Absalom, "No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you." Then he urged him, but he would not go; and he blessed him. ²⁶ Then Absalom said, "If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us." And the king said to him, "Why should he go with you?" ²⁷ But Absalom urged him; so he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him. ²⁸ Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, "Watch now, when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, 'Strike Amnon!' then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant." ²⁹ So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose, and each one got on his mule and fled.

For these two years Absalom hate for his brother was building and now Absalom had plan to get revenge for what Amnon did to his sister. Now we need to understand that this time of sheepshearers was a time of celebration and Absalom wanted to use this situation to kill his brother. Now see that he tries to get David and his servants to go to this celebration but David refuses because he doesn’t want to burden him. Then he specifically asks David to let Amnon go. Now David seems to show some suspicion because he wants to know why he wants Amnon to go. Well after Absalom convinces David to let him go he also allows all his sons to go. Absalom’s plan was working. Now we see that Absalom didn’t do the dirty work himself instead he gets his servants to do it. Now he tell his servants to courageous and valiant but how much courage or valiant does it take to kill a drunken man who doesn’t even know that his death is coming. As soon as Amnon is killed the other sons get on their mules and they get out of there because they probably thought they would be killed as well. Now Absalom had his revenge.

2 Samuel 13:30 And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that news came to David, saying, "Absalom has killed all the king's sons, and not one of them is left!" ³¹ So the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn.

Many times in times of kayos information can get distorted. Here we learn David is told that Absalom had killed all his sons. Now doubt this news devastated David and we see that he tore his clothes and lay on the ground and as the custom of his times his servants did the same thing.

2 Samuel 13:32 Then Jonadab the son of Shimeah, (shim-i-uh) David's brother, answered and said, "Let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king's sons, for only Amnon is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. ³³ "Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king's sons are dead. For only Amnon is dead."

Here is where we come back full circle to David’s crafty nephew Jonadab. You Jonadab knew what was going on and he tried to make David feel better by letting him know that it was only Amnon that was dead. Now the Bible doesn’t give us the details but based upon Jondab’s character and the fact that he knew what Absalom was up to gives me the idea that Jondab possibly played a part in planning Amnon death even though he was his friend. That is what I speculate happened but I will never know for sure.

2 Samuel 13:34 Then Absalom fled. And the young man who was keeping watch lifted his eyes and looked, and there, many people were coming from the road on the hillside behind him. ³⁵ And Jonadab said to the king, "Look, the king's sons are coming; as your servant said, so it is." ³⁶ So it was, as soon as he had finished speaking, that the king's sons indeed came, and they lifted up their voice and wept. Also the king and all his servants wept very bitterly. ³⁷ But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud,(a-mih-hud) king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. ³⁸ So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. ³⁹ And King David longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.

Now David had been given two reports about his sons but now he sees with his own two eyes that his other sons were still alive and they joined together and wept bitterly over the loss of Ammon. Now Absalom was on the run and we see that he fled for safety in Geshur for 3 years which is around 70 miles from Jerusalem. Now after David had finished morning over Ammon he longed to go and see Absalom. So as we come to the end of this chapter we certainly see that Nathan was correct that he would have adversity come from within his own household and as we continue our study next week we will see that there is even more problems ahead from Absalom.

We learned at least 3 lessons from this chapter.

1. Never underestimate the influence you have on your kids by your actions.

2. How devastating a lustful heart can be

3. The importance of choosing the right kind of friends.